The KRA Blog

Being a lifelong resident of Kansas, I have known for a long time that while 99% of our great state may bleed red, there is one spot in the northeast corner that remains steadfastly blue. Some conservatives view Lawrence as a thorn in their side that needs to be removed. I myself prefer to think of Lawrence as the red-headed step-child of the state. You know the type, the son that keeps mooching off of mom and dad, because at 41 years old he still hasn’t ‘found himself.’

Over the years, I’ve heard many stories of what happens inside the Lawrence city limits. So you can image my horror when I found out that if I wanted to go back to school, KU was the only university in the state that offered the degree I wanted to pursue. What a choice…perpetual poverty with no college education, or personality reassignment John Kerry style.

In the end, I chose the money (which is what makes me a great Republican) and my family and I now reside in Lawrence, or as we like to call it, the People’s Republic of Lawrence (the P.R.L.)

Having resided in the P.R.L. for just over a month now, I must admit that being a college student and chronically poor, there’s no better place to mooch…I mean live…than the P.R.L.

In the P.R.L., we qualify for free wireless internet through the city because we have a child under 18. Of course, my daughter is 16 months old and can no more say computer than she can Hail Hillary, but that doesn’t matter in the P.R.L. You see, in the P.R.L. everyone has a ‘right’ to broadband internet access, regardless of age, sex, color, gender, weight, hairstyle, fingernail length, number of hats worn Tuesday nights or ability to operate a $1000 piece of equipment.

Now unlike communist experiments in the past…sorry, I mean socialist…better yet, progressive, the P.R.L. actively promotes ‘affordable housing’ for ‘low-income families’ All you have to do is make less than $40,000 a year, fill out a form, and wham! for only three times more than your annual salary, you too can enjoy the same great benefits as the rest of us!

It’s hard not to feel welcomed by your fellow comrades, (oops!) friends, when you move to the P.R.L. Our current neighbor finally figured out why we have been getting along so well…you see I’m a Libra and he’s a Virgo, so it’s like a match made in heaven!, I mean, a match evolved over millions of years and perfected by chance.

I know this just gives you a taste of what it’s like to live in the P.R.L., so I thought I’d write a short guide about how you can tell if you live in Lawrence. I like to call it…

You Might Live in Lawrence…

If you spot an 80 year old woman with a walker and a cellphone in one hand and an ipod in the other…you might live in Lawrence.

If your main street is named Massachusetts…you might live in Lawrence.

If you block a proposed highway by-pass to save the swampland…you might live in Lawrence.

If you like the 45 minute drive across town because it gives you time to take in the scenery…you might live in Lawrence.

If you have to park in the back of the lot because all of the front spaces are designated for new and expectant mothers…you might live in Lawrence.

If you see four ‘NO RIGHT TURN’ signs within two blocks…you might live in Lawrence.

If you see a ‘I HATE REPUBLICANS’ bump sticker just underneath a ‘DEMOCRATS LOVE EVERYONE’ bumper sticker…you might live in Lawrence.

If your infants social calendar is more complicated than yours…you might live in Lawrence.

If you see three generations of hippies at once…you might live in Lawrence.

If you see a ‘Save the Earth’ bumper sticker on a 1972 Pinto that makes 4 miles per gallon…you might live in Lawrence.

If you send out your cloth diapers to be cleaned just because you can…you might live in Lawrence.

and finally…

If you see a sign that warns ‘Slow Children Playing’ and demand the city not judge others…you might live in Lawrence.

—

I attest that each and every incident in this commentary has happened to me or my family since moving to Lawrence a month and a half ago. I swear on a stack of Bibles everything is true, however if you want to see it in person, please give me seven days notice so I can have the other 10 Christians in town come over for a really big stack!

How can AG Paul Morrison behave the way he does? 

To understand this type of behavior is to understand what propels the liberal’s logic for most political matters.   

I wish to quote a passage from Ian McEwan’s book SATURDAY: “…he remembers a famous thought experiment he learned about long ago in a physics course.  A cat, Schrödinger’s cat, hidden from view in a covered box, is either still alive, or has just been killed by a randomly activated hammer hitting a vial of poison.  Until the observer lifts the cover from the box, both possibilities, alive cat and dead cat, exist side by side, in parallel universe, equally real.  At the point at which the lid is lifted from the box and the cat is examined, a quantum wave of probability collapses.” 

As long as Morrison did not have to lift the lid on the Tiller case, vis-à-vis, because of Morrison’s lame excuses: 1.) Kline has an anti-abortion-obsession; 2.) Paperwork improperly handled by Kline’s office;  3.) Kline not understanding the proper protocol channels when pursuing this case; 4.) Kline has invaded the privacy of many women for whatever reason; etc, etc, …Morrison could justify not investigating this case any further. 

BUT once Morrison lifted the lid on the Tiller’s-Schrödinger’s-box, a “quantum wave of probabilities collapsed”, and he had to make it look as if it was his discovery that the “cat was dead” and that Tiller had broken the written law. 

Why? One may ask.  Because, it may seem surreal to us, but Morrison has a hero complex and actually believes that he is protecting us from the evil’s of Phill Kline, not Tiller. 

When Morrison’s job as DA was handed to Phill it had to have been unsettling for him: even though he had just won the election against Kline for the AG position; a part of Morrison’s JoCo Tribe had somehow turned on him.   

Did Morrison ever wondered if his election was bought by Tiller?”.  I don’t think so, I think his logic ran more in the vein of: He was elected by the people, because, the people hate Phill Kline as much as he does.   

How can an intelligent man be so driven by his own illogical hate? 

In Freud’s terms our mind can greatly be influenced by what we see and how we see it.  A quote from Willis Harman’s, VISIONS OF TOMORROW: THE TRANSFORMATION AHEAD, (OD Practitioner 13, February 1981) states:  “…we know that the way we see the world is affected by suggestions that we’ve absorbed, hypnotically or otherwise; it’s affected by our expectations’ it’s affected by our perceived needs.  If we have to see the world in a certain way in order to feel comfortable, we tend to see it that way.  If people who are important in our lives see it a certain way, we tend to see it the way they do.  We can be badly fooled in the way we perceive the world.  We can be fooled individually or we can be fooled as a tribe.”  This is the unwritten law, the law of the tribe’s perception. 

This is a perfect example of Plato’s laws, the written law and the unwritten law. Plato stated that, “There is a written and unwritten law.  The one by which we regulate our constitutions on our cities is the written law; that which arises from custom is the unwritten law.”  So, in our little scenario, the written law is: Abortionist must follow certain mandates for a late term abortion; the unwritten law: If we question the practices of an Abortionist we have a hidden-religious-agenda to close all abortion clinics and take away women’s rights. 

Since AG Paul Morrison has a perceptual distortion about Phill Kline brought upon by the unwritten law, he will see this case as his way of defending Kansas against the evil’s of Phill Kline. BUT in Paul’s illogical pursuit of Phill he has forgotten that his accusations of Tiller breaking the written law are very serious.  Tiller is not one to be toyed with, as we have witnessed in his slow annihilation of Kline.   Needless to say, Paul Morrison has placed himself in quite a conundrum, amazingly he doesn’t realize his situation: …but, I guarantee, Sebeluis does.